I just got home from an ecumenical conference – the Center for Catholic and Evangelical Theology’s yearly Pro Ecclesia conference titled: “Remembering the Reformation Together: Commemorate? Celebrate? Repent?”

Some of the presentations and discussion invoked conversation on how we acknowledge pain, hurt - ask for forgiveness and be intentional in how we try to repair the pain of all the damage so many of us have done by asking for, receiving and/or granting forgiveness. Do we celebrate or commemorate? 
One of the phrases we heard this year was “always begin with prayer.” This conference begins and ends with corporate prayer; it is sustained throughout by prayer – in ways that keep us all focused on Christ. Yet, we know that much divides us. So we work to avoid damage, and build relationships and understanding - striving towards the goal of unity. The presentations were terrific, the conversation great and when I woke up this morning – the lack of unity in this world slapped me square in the face!

9 dead in Charleston, two of them alumni from the Lutheran Seminary I attended, one of them someone I knew at seminary – a kind, intelligent brother in Christ who also serves in the State Government – he had a servant’s heart, truly! And every one of the other 8 victims is just as missed, as lost to us as he is. 

My fire went out for a bit, but through the tears and grief for Charleston, for these families, I thought what can I do? And the words from the conference came – “always begin with prayer.” So I prayed, and I have been urging others to pray – through facebook, through conversations, through my prayers. 

Those 9 people will not be brought back through our prayers – but as so many of us were praying today, the suspect was captured. As we continue to pray, others are speaking out from many cultures and faiths and saying, “Not again! What can we do?” In prayer we are in conversation with God. We cry out to God for wisdom, but why is it so easy to sit and be stumped instead of staying awake for God’s response? Why do we cry out for revenge instead of justice? What is justice? Why can’t we get up and gather together to listen and stand together?

Is it because we have convinced ourselves that when something bad happens, it is someone else’s business? That only works until the bad times visit you! Is it fear of people who look or smell different, or have more or less authority? God forbid, will I have to stand with someone who lives a lifestyle that I strongly disagree with? If so, what does that say? 

First - Maybe we break away because we are scared, or we are traumatized, or hurt, or confused, or sick and because we are broken. For many of us, admitting to others that our lives aren’t socially acceptable (whatever that means in your world) is the last thing we will do. So we either pretend it’s not our problem or we sit in this pool of pain and anguish – you know - where it’s easy to sit and moan. We all do it – some of us are very skilled at sitting back.

Second – what do I mean with the questions about standing with someone or disagreeing with someone? Well, standing with someone as a human being doesn’t mean you condone any of their choices/issues/errors, etc... any more than it means they condone yours! This is not an endorsement of someone’s lifestyle or job skills on their part or yours. What we are endorsing is that we are part of the same human race - we are human together.

Maybe we don’t know what to do when someone is hurt or sick or determined to hurt someone else. We think there is security in laying low. And often, if it isn't comfortable, maybe we feel justified in laying low - instead of getting involved. Besides, you might ask - I can't really do anything, can I? But there is something we can all do – reach out to them, talk to them. Invite them to stand with the rest of us as a human being. Let them know someone cares because they are in pain. You don’t have to know someone well to say “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

As a Christian, I believe that God is with us in our circumstances. You and I might not agree on how that happens, or on the name we use for God – but consider this: If you believe there is an almighty creator of the universe, then let’s stand together and pray. 

And if you don’t believe in God, would you mind standing with me while I pray? Then tell me when or how I might stand with you… let’s reach out for that unity. Let’s talk.
R. I. P. 9 beautiful brothers and sisters in Charleston, SC
Your sister, 
Kathleen

The blog name - Struggling Spirit - comes from reading Martin Luther's Works "Sermons on the Gospel of John" Chapters 14 - 16. Luther speaks about the Holy Spirit - the Spirit of Truth and reminds us that Christ tells us "The Spirit of truth will guide you into all the truth." As he talks about the struggles and grief that Christians face, he reminds us that the Holy Spirit has the power to guide us and to bring us truth. He also speaks of how the Spirit will continue to convict us in our hearts as sinners, still full of weakness - yet God's dear children and saints. This is often referred to using the Latin Simul justus et peccator - simultaneously just (saint) and sinner.

I feel this sometimes as a struggle within my spirit, because of The Spirit. So to reflect the "both/and" of that statement - I named the blog Struggling Spirit.

These are my thoughts - sometimes they will be framed within a theological construct, and sometimes appearing as I experience them - which may appear random, and objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear.

Struggling Spirit - struggling in the Spirit, or struggling because of the Spirit? Let's see...